“If I could fast-forward, I’d go so far
Up to the day we’re reading this in someone’s memoirs
Though it’s too soon to shout, no fanfare yet
I know I’m singing your anthem under my breath”
Juliette Elizabeth Claire Jackson
When I grow old and have to go to Dublin for a medical appointment, such as a wonky eye, I will make a day of it. I will take my grown up visiting favourite daughter with me for company and we will listen to music and argue over who discovered which band first.
We will then meet one of my favourite sons and we will go shopping to buy me a new jacket.
When I grow old I will wear what I want. My grown up visiting favourite daughter will surreptitiously take photos of me as I try on brightly coloured jackets and straw hats and send them to my Soulmate who will text instructions back such as “DO NOT LET HIM BUY THAT HAT !” and one of my favourite sons will roll his eyes up to heaven when I want to look at the same jacket, but in a different shop.
When I grow old I will eat donuts before 11 just because they are there, and I will ask the lady behind the counter if I can have one of their paper hats.
When I grow old I will take my grown up visiting favourite daughter and one of my favourite sons for lunch in a vegetarian burger joint and I will enjoy the food and drink Karma Cola and will compliment the nice man that took our order on the food and will suggest to him that he should sell tee shirts of their ‘Saucy Cow’ logo and that I would buy them in all colours if he did.
When I grow old I will go to the Lego store and the Disney store on Grafton St. and I will never tire of posing with Stormtroopers and Hulks and taking selfies with my grown up visiting favourite daughter and one of my favourite sons and will choose to believe that the sales staff look at me with admiration rather than nervously.
When I grow old I will walk around Dublin looking at jackets in different shops that all look identical to one of my favourite sons, before going back to the very first shop we looked at and buying the very first jacket I tried on. My grown up visiting favourite daughter and one of my favourite sons will smile and compliment me on my choice and they will agree that this jacket will look great with my Monsters Inc Adidas runners. And in that moment I will love my grown up visiting favourite daughter and one of my favourite sons more than they will ever know.
When I grow old and I am driving with my grown up visiting favourite daughter and one of my favourite sons I will tell them about this road and houses that are no longer there, and how this bit was all fields when I was their age and then I will catch my breath as it seems like forever ago and just now at the same time. And we will talk about our other favourite son and we will make plans for later in the summer and we will all be together. And I will not be a little sad when one of my favourite sons leaves us to go to his ‘labs’ in his big grown up college, and he will turn and wave, and my heart will burst with pride and a little tear will well up and I will sneeze and pretend that I have a cold.
When I grow up and am travelling home with my grown up visiting favourite daughter and she will doze off and she will remind me so much of my Soulmate and this time I will properly blub because she is asleep and I don’t have to pretend that I am anything other than incredibly happy.
When I grow old I will mow the lawn whenever I like. I may decide that some parts are a bee sanctuary and it is NOT simply because they are awkward bits that I can’t get the ride on mower close to. And I will listen to the blend playlist that my grown up visiting favourite daughter has made for us. And I will mow my neighbours’ lawn because I am nice and because I will love throwing sticks for their dog.
When I grow old I will spend forever in the kitchen using every spice jar, every single pot, measuring jug, spoon and weighing scale we have preparing dinner for my Soulmate and my grown up visiting favourite daughter. The dinner does not taste as good as the dinner I could have made from the jar of sauce that I will later find in the cupboard by my Soulmate and my grown up visiting favourite daughter will smile at me and say that it is delicious.
When I grow old I will take a bottle of Moretti from the fridge and place it in the freezer for 20 minutes before drinking it because that’s the way I like it. I will open a bottle of Rioja and light candles and we will sit together at the dinner table chatting until it is bedtime, even though it is Wednesday. During our post dinner chats my Soulmate will take off her shoes and place her feet on my lap and I will rub them gently and we will laugh and giggle and tell my grown up visiting favourite daughter stories about her as a child. She will have heard all of these stories before, but she will smile and laugh and look shocked as if she is hearing them all for the first time.
When I grow old I will go to bed content.
I will say thank you to the Universe for my Soulmate, my grown up visiting favourite daughter, my two favourite sons, and days like this.
Or maybe I’ll do it now.
Why wait ?
Toodles,
Paul
P.S. This is Big Moon’s ‘2 Lines’ which is brilliant and which I discovered BEFORE my grown up visiting favourite daughter !
