Don’t Be Afraid

You saw the advert, attended the open night, applied for the course, was granted a place, looked forward to it with giddy anticipation and yet , now you’re sitting at the back of the first class , you have a slight burning sensation in your chest which can’t be indigestion, as Darren, your coach won’t let you eat anything these days, so it must be a heart attack.

It can’t be fear. You’ve spoken in front of audiences of hundreds at multiple events, and all you’re doing now is sitting at the back of a class. It can’t be fear.

It is fear.

You’re afraid of being found out. Everyone else is creative. What the heck are you doing here ?
You wonder if anyone has fainted at one of these classes before, do they know your next of kin, your allergies, do you know if you have any allergies, you’re hungry, damn you Darren , there is now a pounding in your ears, and…

And the class starts. And after a moment or two you realise that you’re still alive, your heart is beating regularly, and  you’re not really hungry, sorry Darren. People are starting to introduce themselves to the class and immediately you realise that they’re the same as you.

It’s your turn. You introduce yourself as hailing from Monaghan, the true centre of the Universe. They all laugh, they think you’re joking, you’re not, but they don’t realise that yet. And you explain that you became a business person by mistake and really had no business being in business. Again they laugh. And then ,without fainting, you tell then your dream and why you’re there. No one laughs, but you see people smiling back at you.

This is going to be great.

Don’t be afraid.

There’s nothing to be afraid of….except wasps, obviously.



P.S. I watched ‘Next Goal Wins’ on YouTube this week, a documentary about the exploits of the American Samoa international football team. It’s a real tonic.

P.P.S  I listened to Courney Barnett’s ‘David’ on repeat

P.P.P.S Driving home from Trinity on Monday night I pulled in to the Applegreen service station to get a coffee as I was starting to feel tired. I got the coffee and feeling hungry, but wanting to be healthy, I picked up two healthy Naked bars. When I sat back in the car I looked at the calorie count, yes , I know, I’m that guy now. 400 calories !!! EACH !!!! I marched purposefully back into the station , past the Chopstixx, Burger King and Costa concessions, past the donut stand, the croissants, God I love croissants, past row upon row of Snickers, Reeses, heavenly Cadburys, and picked up a banana. I went to the till and the chap serving me asked “Are you OK ?”. I looked down at the single banana on the counter between us. He looked down at the single banana between us. He looked back at me and I said “ It’s 10pm , I’m hungry, and I’ve walked past all of that and I’m buying a single banana, that single banana . How would I be alright ?”. He smiled sympathetically , charged me 60 cents and wished me a safe journey home.

Author: paul

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