“And all across the world they shout bad words, they shout angry words
All across the world they shout out their angry words
About the end of love, yet the stars stand above the earth
Bright, triumphant metaphors of love
Bright, triumphant metaphors of love
Blind us all who care to stand and look beyond, that care to stand and look beyond above”
Nick Cave /Warren Ellis
Do you remember going on a trampoline ?
You’re nervous at first. Maybe you didn’t even want to go on the trampoline in the first place. You felt nervous, self conscious, embarrassed ?
And then you bounced.
And no matter what age you are /were, you smile. You smile widely, manically, and you laugh to yourself.
That’s joy.
That’s what Kyle and Laura’s wedding was like last Thursday.
I was in a great mood anyway, before we even got there. It has been a great week.
Elliott and Teresa arrived home on Monday.
On Tuesday I visited the new Monaghan Museum to plan our ‘True and Accurate Vampire History of Monaghan’ expo, got invited to a night away in Glenstal Abbey, and received an entry from a very talented writer called Cillian, aged 7, in our Drumlin Giants story competition.
On Wednesday Jake and Sarah came home, we had lunch with Freddie, and we met The Hannon Girls in town, and Marc Kelly shared the first photos of Medb, our newest Giant. Then Robyn and Dundalk John came home and we all had tea together.
On Thursday we all piled into Hilda’s Bingo Bus and trundled our way through Ballybay, Shercock, Latton, Nobber…and other mysterious places that the kids had never been in before, as we made our way to Bellinter House for the wedding.
I hadn’t even had my first pint when I received the first of several warnings from various people.
“Laura says you’re not allowed to post any photos on social media today.”
“I don’t remember seeing that on the invitation or the info email ?”
“No, it’s just you she doesn’t want posting anything.”
I went and had a pint…and told them to charge it to Laura’s room.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful, meaningful, and short.
Perfect !
We all went inside and chatted to all the people we’d caught glimpses of during the ceremony, and hugged and laughed…and that was the tone for the whole day.
My Soulmate has two sisters and four brothers and this was the first wedding we’d been at together with our kids in 8 years. We all get along great with each other, even with Stephen, and time does indeed fly when we all get together. This time there was the added bonus of most of the nieces and nephews now being adults…and able to buy a round.
Too soon we were being hooshed down to the dining room. Eileen and I sat at a table with Angie’s family, the mother of the groom, and Ger. I looked over to table 9 where our kids and Ger’s were sitting together and could just see them all laughing every time I looked. It reminded me of the Lyons’ weddings we were at years ago. The Lyons are cousins of Eileen’s, and we were at Barry’s, Mark’s, and Anne Marie’s weddings, all of which were glorious affairs. The Mammy of all The Lyons, Maureen, is Eileen’s aunty, her mother Rita’s sister. Rita’s family consisted of a bajillion brothers and sisters, so every one of their kids’ weddings was a wild Clerkin affair.
It hit me.
We’re the Aunties and Uncles now.
The shock of this realisation hadn’t properly taken hold when wedding party were announced and took their places at the top table, and the speeches began.
People can put themselves under so much pressure preparing and delivering wedding speeches. It may come as a shock to you, but I can give a speech or a talk with 10 or 15 minutes notice to any group about almost anything…and have done so on more than one occasion. But giving a wedding speech is a different beast altogether. I’ve been best man twice, at Eileen brother Stephen’s wedding, and my brother Stephen’s wedding , and at my own. Each one was terrifying.
Kyle’s Dad ,and my great friend, Gareth ignored my suggestions of making references to the Criminal Law Insanity Act 2006, Section 5 in relation to legal responsibility to Kyle, and to likening child rearing to the Kobayashi Maru exercise in Star Trek , and , perhaps wisely, he ignored both. I was sitting close to Gareth and could see his hand shaking as he read the speech, and Angie holding his other hand and turning the pages for him. It was a lovely moment. Two parents celebrating their son’s milestone of marriage, and welcoming together their new daughter.
Laura’s ‘Male of Honour’ , Dean, gave a beautiful speech about their life long friendship , and becoming Kyle’s friend in the process.
Curtis was Kyle’s best man, and MC for the day and was a natural. The genuine affection he had for Kyle, and the good natured banter between them all day was infectious.
Kyle’s speech began like a Ryanair flight safety announcement, but then, due to encouragement from Laura, and mocking from Curtis, settled into his own style. He focused on his family, his friends, and his wife, which sounds obvious, but is sometimes lost in an effort to get laughs. If there had only been Laura and Kyle in the room, I think the speech would have been the same…without the Ryanair bit. It was that genuine and personal to them.
And if you can believe it Laura’s speech was better and even more personal ! There were tears at Table 2 and Table 9…
And , like that young Galilean caterer , I’ve left the best to last. Vivienne, Laura’s mother gave THE best speech. Not a word was wasted. Every sentence was laden with love and pride in equal measure. It may have been the best I’ve ever heard.
The food and service were superb, and then we got to the best part, the dancing.
The band were phenomenal. I’ve never been at a wedding where the band played songs by David Bowie, The Strokes, and The Artic Monkeys. I have never danced as much at a wedding…even my own.
And then it hit me again.
At all of the old Clerkin weddings the two ring leaders in chaos on the dancefloor were always Tadgh Lyons and John McCague, two of Eileen’s uncles. They were not only always out dancing, but they also went and grabbed people who weren’t dancing, and dragged them to the floor.
I have become a composite of Tadgh and John.
And I am very happy with that.
When not dancing Eileen and I chatted with friends we hadn’t seen in a while, friends we saw at last week’s Parkrun, and strange people from California with magnificent moustaches.
We danced the night away with our kids and their partners, Teresa, Dundalk John, and Sarah. Our kids are serious groovers, they take after their Mum. What I lacked in rhythm I think I made up for with enthusiasm.
Our Robyn has always liked Seal’s ‘Kiss From A Rose’, and we told her that many years ago Eileen and I cleared the dancefloor at Anne Marie and Gerry McMahon’s wedding by dancing to it , very theatrically.
We had said our goodbyes to everyone and had almost made it to our bedroom when we heard the DJ play that song, and I could hardly keep up with Eileen as we hurried back in and danced to it again, this time with even more drama, and with our kids !
We went to bed after that and I fell straight asleep…waking up 30 minutes later with cramp in my right calf, hopping out of bed and stamping my foot to get rid of it. I gingerly got back into bed and carefully arranged myself so that I didn’t have to move …and then my left calf muscle cramped.
I sat in a chair for a few minutes , stretching…and woke up there an hour later.
The Bellinter Hotel has a mature and humane policy of serving breakfast up until 11am, which was appreciated.
Although slightly worse for wear , we were all still in top form as we said our goodbyes.
I gave Kyle and Laura a hug, each, I’m not stingy with my hugs.
And I thanked them for allowing us to be part of their day.
It was a privilege.
It was sheer joy.
Go bounce !
Toodles,
Paul
P.S. My Soulmate is fundraising for NECRET – North East Cancer Research & Education Trust, and they’d really appreciate your support.
She and her wonderfully bonkers friends are dipping in teh sea tomorrow in teh nudie !
Donate here ….and may god have mercy on their souls.
P.P.S For Laura….and Kyle…this makes me think of them …don’t know why…
