“The taste of Love,
The more you get, the more you want,
And all because,
The only reason is just because.
It all makes Sense,
When you’re near
It all makes Sense.”
Terry Hall – ‘Sense’
There are lots of people that I’ve told that I love them, and certain people that I tell that I love them a lot. I always mean it. It seems to scare some people.
A few years ago , actually, more than a few years ago now…although, it was in fact 2010, is that a few years ago, or a long time ago ?
So, back in 2010 , I was a member of a small business group, 10 of us altogether and we were all owners of our respective businesses, and met once a month to chat about things in general, or any one of us could bring up a particular issue and share it in complete confidence, and also with the hope that another member had experienced a similar issue and could share how they got through it.
I found the group , individually, and collectively , wonderful. I still have three great friends from that time.
My business world had been falling apart and they all stepped up with words of support and practical assistance that went way beyond any expectation I had. They meant the world to me.
That Christmas I had no money , but wanted to let them all know that I loved and appreciated them, so I made individual Christmas cards for them, hand drawn with a message particular to them personally, and I signed off each one,
“Love you,
Paul”
I posted them off a few days before Christmas and felt good that a little bit of my love was out in the world doing some good for someone, or maybe they’d have a wee laugh at my doodling.
On St.Stephen’s Day I had several missed calls from one of the card recipients, whom we’ll call Percival. Each time I tried to return a call to Percival it went to his voicemail, and I seemed to miss his calls when he tried to call me back. I was driving past Kilmore Church when he got through to me. He wasn’t overjoyed. He was concerned that I loved him. At least I think that’s what he said, the reception wasn’t great around Kilmore at the time. I tried to explain that I’d sent cards to all of the members of the group, and regardless of whether they were male or female, I signed them all I love you.
“I told each and every one, even Richard, and you know what Richard’s like, ‘I love you !’ “
At his end, it later turned out, he’d missed most of my explanation due to the coverage, but did hear “I told …….you….I love you !”
He then calmly and clearly told me that he held me in high regard, very high regard, and he wasn’t judging , and he absolutely had nothing against homosexuality, but that he wasn’t that way inclined and was in a happy relationship, and thanks but no thanks.
I was tempted to say don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, but I just said “Percival, don’t worry, you’re not my type. Happy New Year to you !” and hung up.
It troubled me though and I mentioned it to my Soulmate and she said most people know what you’re like, and would probably be disappointed if you didn’t tell them that you love them.
When the kids were younger and my Soulmate would send them with me to do the shopping to make sure I’d buy what she’d usually buy, rather than interesting, new, or shiny, they would ask how come everyone seemed to know me, because they all said hello. It was simply because I smiled at everyone , or said hello to them first. Although it may also have been as simple as everyone knows the weirdo, but the weirdo doesn’t necessarily know everyone.
Anyway, the love thing must be hereditary, I always remember Mam and Dad telling us that they loved us, and our Jake was recently leaving work early and called out to the new girl “Love you, bye !”
If , God forbid, you don’t feel comfortable telling someone that you love them, you could simply send a message saying ‘Hello’, or recall a memory of times past.
In a strange series of coincidences, and completely out of the blue , an old school friend sent me a clip on WhatsApp of a guy singing Don McLean’s ‘American Pie’ in a pub in Scotstown, with the message “My abiding memory of you is singing this on the bus in the USSR in ‘82”.
I hadn’t had a message from this guy in years, and our school tour was indeed 41 years ago. I beamed with joy.
This week I shared my old story about meeting David Bowie on the bus to Galway, and another friend, commented “Eagles still alive”. This was Milo, who along with Shane Martin , were the only two teenagers in Ireland at that time that loved The Eagles. I messaged back asking if he remembered the time on that school tour when we were on the overnight train from Leningrad to Moscow, trying to get one of the teachers, Joe Cool, to play an Eagles song, and he was so disappointed that he didn’t know who The Eagles were, so we all sang Simon & Garfunkel songs instead.
Milo said he didn’t…but I know he did.
Another friend , Shane, no not that one, the other one, then messaged reminding us that Milo and I sang ‘The Greenfields Of France’ to a group of aspiring Soviets in their elite , diplomatic academy in Moscow.
My memory of that visit was all of the Russian kids spoke better English than we did, certainly knew more Irish history than we did, and quietly offered to help us overthrow our brutal British oppressors. I did my best to explain that Monaghan was in fact just south of the ‘Oppressors’ , but that we were having a tough time with Charlie Haughey and any assistance on that front would be greatly appreciated. Promises were made….but not kept.
I got a great lift from each of those blasts from the past, and I knew they were sent with love and affection.
If someone pops into your head today and you think “I must get in touch…” STOP what you’re doing right then and there and send a message, make a call. Someone somewhere in your life needs to know that someone is thinking of them. I do, and everyday someone does. It’s magic.
Be the magic.
Toodles,
Paul
P.S. I love you.
