“We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust”
Joan Baez
Yesterday , Wednesday, I met my friend Freddie for lunch. This is such a regular occurrence that when I post up a photo of the two of us, I say “Happy Freddiensday !”. It’s just a silly thing that you think no one really notices, until, a few months ago , we met on a Thursday due to Freddie’s hectic social life, and within a minute of posting our usual photo and greeting I received messages from three people saying that it was Thursday and to stop scaring them like that. One lady double checked with another lady in her office before messaging me, just to be sure.
We went somewhere new. It’s not new, new, it’s just that we don’t go there normally. I ordered a coffee with my lunch and was quite shocked with how poor it was. It wasn’t spit on the floor bad, it was more of a stand over there while I calm down and try not to break your heart by showing you how disappointed I am in you, and it’s lucky your Mother’s not here. That sort of bad. It was a shock, as this was a coffee shop, so I would have thought that making a decent coffee went with the territory. It was the type of coffee that’s normally served from those vile pump flasks at a conference in a hotel. It wasn’t enough to put me off the place completely, as the food itself was good, but …
“Why don’t you just have tea ?”
Because I only drink coffee because the tea is already terrible absolutely everywhere , except my house. I make a mug of tea , using a bone china mug, and a single Lyons Green label tea bag. Teabag in the mug, pour in boiling water and then DO NOT do anything for at least 15 minutes, so that it draws properly. Then squeeze the living daylights out of the tea bag and add a tiny wee splash of milk. And that’s it. ( Whenever I say ‘And that’s it’ these days I hear it in my head as ‘An dassit!’ like Marcello Hernandez in SNL – (see here , last week’s sketch for Tiny Ass Bags ).
The mug it’s in makes a difference…to me. And the tea bag must be Lyons Green Label. The water should be from our well, and the milk ideally should be Monaghan Champion Milk, but in a pinch any Irish milk will do.
If I try to explain that in a coffee shop I get asked to leave. This is based on past experience.
So when not in my house and in need of a beverage I opt for coffee. And not a weird flat white…we know what those people are like… just a regular Americano.
In case any of you happen to be in Monaghan , or passing through and are worried about the best places to get a coffee, especially if you’re on the hoof , I recommend, in order :
- The CoffeeDoc , Rossmore Park. This has a lot to do with where you’re consuming it , granted, but it’s always pleasant when somewhere has no competition, and still bothers to make a damn fine cup of coffee.
- McCleary’s Insomnia, Belgium Square – Their coffee isn’t any better than the coffee in most places, but any time I’m there I usually bump into Peter or Jeannie , and that always improves my day.
- Plant Motors , Applegreen, Clones Road – The Braeburn coffee in any Applegreen is always spot on , and my favourite regular , on the go, coffee. This one in Monaghan is the best simply because it, like Monaghan itself , is closer to God.
- The Screaming Bean, The Diamond – sit down , or take away, it’s top notch.
This may sound like nonsense to you, and if it does, you are not alone. My brother Stephen rolls his eyes to heaven when I’m taking one of the two mugs I like at work out of the dishwasher to wash and use for my tea, rather than the 20 or so clean common or garden ones in the press. And other people from Monaghan, with less mature palates, will swear by the coffee in Coffee Angel, Grinded, and Fro & Co, but, I know what I know.
And , today , while driving home with my Soulmate for lunch, and listening to James O’Brien’s Mystery Hour on LBC we heard a fine gentleman called Daniel explain that I was right. Mr.O’Brien’s daily show has a Mystery Hour every Thursday from noon until 1pm, during which people can ring in to ask a question that has stumped or mystified them and other people call to give an answer. It’s a weekly restorative oasis of good natured, gentle, funny, and sometimes incredible stories.
Today a chap had called to ask why he and his wife always drank from the same two mugs that they owned, even though they had a huge selection in the cupboard. And , Lord be praised, Daniel from Prism Coffee in Gateshead called in to explain the science behind these choices we make, and even better still, introduced us all to the concept of the Bouda-Kiki Effect. Daniel said that the size, weight , composition, colour, shape and design of the mug, or cup, did influence how we taste things, and that a lot of what we think we taste is almost preprogrammed , or in our mind, in the milliseconds before we put anything into our mouths, from the surroundings we’re consuming it in and the vessel which is carrying it to our mouths.
I felt seen.
He obviously explained it much better than that, and quoted various scientific elements which supported his statements. The Bouda-Kiki effect was also revelatory. It’s a test , developed in the 1920’s , where people were presented with different colours, or shapes, or words, and asked if they would , given only these two choices describe them as ‘Bouda’ or ‘Kiki’, without knowing what either Bouda or Kiki meant or signified.
The example that Daniel used to explain it was simply asking James if he would describe chocolate as ‘Bouda’ or ‘Kiki’, and after a moment or two said ‘Bouda’. Daniel then asked how he would describe lemon, and James said ‘Kiki’, to which Daniel replied “And 96% of the population would give the very same answers.” People seem to associate Bouda with nice, round, comforting things, and Kiki with sharp featured or bitter things. But the even more magical part of it is , as Daniel explained, that this test has been used across all cultures, countries, languages, ethnicities, and the answers are always common to 96% of people. The words ‘Bouda’ and Kiki’ are made up too !
After the show I looked up more about Bouda-Kiki, ( I also followed Prism Coffee on Instagram, and messaged a thank you to Daniel, and plan to vist Gateshead sometime just to have a coffee and shake his hand…and perhaps start a religion…but babysteps..) , and found out that they are now testing the effect on birds and animals using shapes…and are getting the same Universal scores, 96% opt for the same answer.
I love it !
Earlier today I’d come across the song ‘Diamonds and Rust’ which Joan Baez wrote about her break up with Bob Dylan. She was the bigger star when they met and his first big break was when she invited him up on stage at the 1963 Newport Folk Festival. By 1965 he was the bigger star , and she accompanied him on his UK tour , with the expectation that he would introduce her on stage at some point and help her break into the UK market. He didn’t. They split up. I immediately thought ‘What a complete Kiki !’. Incidentally, having suffered through a Bob Dylan concert in Kilkenny, he seems to have little empathy or generosity to his audiences….AND he almost scuppered the best live music documentary ever made ‘The Last Waltz’ which The Band were hoping to be their pension, by refusing to allow them to include any of songs he played with them, as he was also doing a live concert film, and only that Johnny Cash, Dylan’s music hero, threatened to shoot him, did he finally agree. Anyway, Joan is Bouda, Bob is Kiki.
I can now apply it to everything.
All of my nephews and nieces – Bouda Eimear my Evil Goddottir – Kiki
Tayto Cheese & Onion – Bouda All other crisps – Kiki
Bees – Bouda Wasps – Kiki
Adidas – Bouda Puma – Kiki
RTE – Bouda Newstalk – Kiki
Apple – Bouda All others – Kiki
Monsters Inc – Bouda K-Pop Demon Hunters Kiki
You could even apply it to couples, say, randomly Georgie – Bouda, Jamie – Kiki …..
Oh , before I go, the photo. In our house when my Soulmate , Jake, Robyn, and Elliott are all home, it is not unusual , after dinner , to see five mugs sitting beside the kettle, each containing their own tea bag, and each drawing until the strength that each person likes is reached. We rarely drink coffee at home, so the only teapot and coffeepots are these ornamental ones, of Ronald Reagan, and Margaret Thatcher. Also, when not posing for photos to illustrate this blog, they usually wear caps. Ronnie wears a rainbow propeller baseball cap, and Maggie wears an East Belfast GAA club beanie.
And before you ask, Ronnie -Bouda, Maggie – Kiki.
Toodles,
Paul
P.S. I saw Tom Smith, the lead singer/guitarist with Editors, playing an acoustic set in Whelans this week and he played ‘Munich’ which in all the years driving our Elliott to school was the only song he ever asked ‘What’s that?’ in a good way. It was his birthday this week, so this is for him…and you, of course. You’re Bouda.
P.P.S This is an audio of an older blog, and definitely NOT a podcast.
P.P.P.S And this is this week’s worky blog
Brix SECOND Annual Sandwich Competition
Last year we held our first ever sandwich competition and…
“Why ?”
Well, there are many reasons and …
“What are they ???”
Gosh, we’re all in a feisty mood today. The first reason was to highlight the fact that the very idea of a sandwich was invented in Monaghan ….OH YES IT WAS !… ( details of this true historic event are in the PS at the end ) and also because that ,perhaps, second only to good decent Haix boots, your lunchtime sandwich is the most important piece of equipment in your day to day.
“What about great Snickers trousers ?”
Okaaay… third only to good decent Haix boots , and great Snickers trousers, the sandwich is …”
“ A good breathable Dassy jacket ??”
FINE !!! Among the many things that are crucial to your day to day are, good decent Haix boots, great Snickers trousers, and breathable Dassy jackets, are sandwiches.
We ran this competition and got answers about some great sandwich ideas, and also stories about sandwiches , like these :
From Aaron – Without a doubt. Start with Fields white bread. Can only be bought in West Cork BTW. Next, Glenstal butter. Bought in Dunnes. While in Dunnes. A hot roast chicken. Topped with sliced cheddar and several crisp slices of red onion. Can not be beat.
From Paul T – Going to give you two of my favourites….you.choose. First one is a little agricultural but here goes…Brown or Wholemeal bread with Beef, Salt and lots of Brown Sauce…HP to be precise. Then a slightly more fancier taste would be..SourDough Bread with ham, chicken, tomato, cheese, onion and some Ballymaloe Relish. Anyway I’m starting so heading off to get a Sambo.
From Fiona – Just to say, I thoroughly enjoy your newsletters, and my favourite sandwich is; toasted Brennans white bread, leftover roast chicken, thinly sliced red reppers, cheddar cheese and butter.
From Karl – On fresh white batch , butter,mayo, tuna ,Swiss cheese and coleslaw and a slathering of Coleman’s mustard! Divine mmmmm !
From Mike – I tried to reply to your call for stories about tea breaks a few weeks ago.
It was a spontaneous response in my lunch break whilst sat in my van sheltering from the rain. However, I think I pushed the erase button instead of send ( I’m more used to operating from the iPad rather than my phone where the buttons are too small). The story was about when, as a young apprentice, I took left over roast lamb in my sandwiches to work, but as they were made the night before the mint sauce had naturally leeched through the bread and it all looked really moldy even though it tasted great.
Pretty sure you didn’t receive it.
Since then my favorite sandwich has probably been mature cheddar and Branston pickle.
Whilst this doesn’t sound very adventurous it is attractive because I live in a country that sell neither of these ingredients. Plus, my wife, who is rather more culinarily driven than me would have me eating multilayered, cooked and seasoned ingredients that take too long to prepare .
In her absence a year or so ago I made a jumbo fried egg butty in fresh French bread. It was superb and I could easily qualify that as my favorite but alas I have subsequently and very recently become violently intolerant of eggs .
Upshot has to be then, the humble cheddar and Branston with brown bread.
From Ger _ Hope ye all fit and well.
Not too worried about winning the competition but I’ll share a sandwich story which ye might enjoy.
When I was a wee chap growing up in the 60’s here in Waterford there was a local family called the Comyns who like most of us didn’t have a whole lot and lived a fairly frugal existence. In later years, probably the late 80s a restaurant opened in the local village of Kilmac on the sight of the old Allied Irish Bank and was named, imaginatively enough, ” The Old Bank”. Willie, one of the Comyn brothers, who was an elderly man at this stage and had rarely if ever visited such an establishment, was treated to a meal there by a relative. Willie had the lamb, having a few sheep himself, his reasoning being that having the lamb would help to make it scarce . Willie, as they say down here, was no Daw ( fool/ eegit)
Anyway having enjoyed his dinner immensely the waitress came around enquiring if either of them would like dessert… Noticing that Willie didn’t quite understand , dessert being an alien concept to him, the relative explained the idea of having something sweet after dinner like apple tart or pavlova or some such treat . Willie pondered the idea for a moment and asked the girl if instead he could have a few sandwiches. The girl, though a little taken aback, recoverd quickly and replied ” I’m sure we can do that Sir and what would you like in your sandwiches? “
Says Willie ” I’ll have a bit of that mate we had there for the dinner, twas grand “. As I said , Willie was no Daw.
A quick one about the Comyns who were known to be very opinionated and therefore never wrong . A local wag once quipped that only The Pope and the Comyns never erred in their teachings . The family patriarch Johnny Comyn in the early days of radio used to listen to the BBC world news which was then preceded at 12 and 6 O Clock by Big Ben striking out the time. Old Johnny would glance at his pocket watch which might just show a minute before or after the hour and promptly declare
” Wrong again Big Ben, wrong again”
The Comyns are all but dead and gone now, God rest them, but they were gas men in fairness.
So lets’s do it all again !
Send us your favourite sandwich idea or your sandwich story and we’ll send a Monaghan Hamper to the winner.
Starving now after all that talk of sandwiches…
Cheers,
Paul
P.S. The TRUE story of the Sandwich…invented in Monaghan.
We’ve written before about the weird and wonderful Monaghan man Richard Pockrich ( 1695-1759) and his many ground breaking inventions and the theories that he failed to either patent or capitalise on during his lifetime and which he failed to be credited for as others brought his theories to fruition. Blood transfusions, canal building, champagne corks, geese farming, bog draining, immortality, vine cultivation, metal ships and lifeboats were only a few of his inventions that actually came to pass , often over a hundred years after he had originally put them forward.
It was in his pursuit of making his idea for metal hulled ships and lifeboats a reality that he came into contact with John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich. Despite being a genius inventor , Richard was a simply awful business man and had a string of failed ventures behind him, and was always trying to stay one step ahead of the bailiffs. This led him to alter his name every so often and it was as Captain Poekrich that he presented himself to John Montagu, Earl of Sandwich and First Lord of the Admiralty in 1751 at the Ripley Building in London.
The Royal Navy was the largest in the world and the Admiralty controlled it tightly.
By all accounts Montagu thought this Irish ‘inventor’ was quite mad. He couldn’t fathom how a metal ship wouldn’t rust, let alone float. And as for the idea of lifeboats, what was the point of ‘saving’ sailors? They had usually become sailors to avoid the hangman’s noose or gaol, so the thought of spending good money on saving them if they’d been incompetent enough to sink one of His Majesty’s magnificent vessels was abhorrent to him. They deserved to be flogged , not saved.
“But perhaps, My Lord, the officers would deserve redemption ? “ Pockrich bravely interrupted the Earl’s tirade on the calibre and pedigree of sailors. “ One lifeboat could save the lives of all of the officers and the captain ?”
“ THE CAPTAIN ??? “ the Earl spat “ The captain goes down with his ship ! It spares the bugger the humiliation of explaining to me how he buggered up the simple task of floating our boat from A to B. Save the captain indeed, the very idea….” He calmed down a little and seeing how forlorn the Irish chap was, rang the bell summoning his butler. The butler appeared within seconds, the Earl was not one to be kept waiting. “ Tea and meat for two , now!”. The butler bowed and went out to fetch the tea.
While they waited a thought occurred to the Earl “ But surely ,Captain Poekrich , as a naval man yourself you would know this protocol ?”
“Ah yes, well ,My Lord, I’m not actually a captain in the naval sense. Captain is my…emm.. Christian name ….emm…after St.Captain of…emm..Antioch, the patron saint of….soft furnishing.” Pockrich was grasping at straws and was delighted to see the butler come back with a tray of tea and two plates of meat. The butler poured the tea and left the room. The Earl immediately picked up a slice of beef and a leg of chicken and ate them greedily. He then bemoaned the fact that his fingers were greasy wiping them on his britches.
“If I may, My Lord” Pockrich reached down to his satchel and took out a paper package which he placed on the Earl’s desk before unwrapping it to reveal two slices of bread with some ham in between. He hadn’t known how long he would be kept waiting to see one of the most powerful men in the realm and had packed a lunch.He produced a knife , cut the bread ensemble in two and lifted one half, took a bite and then picked up a piece of paper from the Earls desk with his fingers before showing it to the Earl to demonstrate that there were no greasy fingerprints.
The Earl looked at the paper, Pockrich, the bread and back to Pockrich before asking “May I ?” nodding down to the other half of the bread, Pockrich nodded enthusiastically. The Earl picked up the meat filled bread slices, took a bite and chewed as the smile on his face widened. He looked at his fingers and then took a slurp of tea before speaking “ Brilliant ! Marvellous ! You Sir are a genius ! What is this magnificent creation called ?”
“We call it a Leslie, Sir” Pockrich replied “ It’s a common diet staple in Monaghan and we named it after Bishop Leslie, the fighting bishop of Glaslough “
“A Leslie ??? I can’t ask for a round of Leslies ? How could I maintain control of His Majesty’s Royal Navy if word got out the First Lord of The Admiralty was very partial to a Leslie ? No, that won’t do” he rose as he spoke standing at the large window behind his grand desk “ We need a name that is grander, regal almost, something as magnificent as this meal itself.”
“Why don’t we call it a…Sandwich ?” Pockrich proffered hesitantly.
“My dear boy” the Earl grinned as he replied “ from the very moment you walked in here I said to myself ‘ This man has the bearing of a genius’ and by God Sir, I was right ! By God I was Sir! A Sandwich shall yet again sustain His Majesty’s kingdom”
Pockrich decided now was the time to press his luck “ And the lifeboat My Lord ? Would there be merit in it “
“Absolutely not” the Earl snapped “ that’s nearly as ridiculous as your metal ship idea. No Master Poekrich, your future lies in the ‘Sandwich’ business”
True story.
